i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
