I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You smell like stripper and shame
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
