that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize