it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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