What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize