Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
