at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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