so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
