Christians are straight up FREAKS
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
