I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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