I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
