You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
