i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
