$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
