FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Boobs speak an international language.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
