hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
