I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
