Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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