That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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