Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize