let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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