There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
