I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
