yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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