This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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