I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
