i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
