Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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