They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
In America we eat man semen.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk is not a location!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
