the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
