that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
