Whod you bang
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
