Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
