I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize