oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
