I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
