so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize