i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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