i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she told me i tasted like america
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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