and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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