Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
