you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
