Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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