Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
