So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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