Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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