Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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