im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we're making bets on your personal life
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Boobs are out for the taking
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
