question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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