the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
