i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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