suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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