this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize