im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
