I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
