I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
