i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize