Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My dick has a subreddit
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
