you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize