Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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