My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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