When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
