We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
