im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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