I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
