WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
