thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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