That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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