This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
