Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
God, I missed his penis.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
